there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize