I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
