What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
