Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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