Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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