That's intense
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
