She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
