how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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