and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
