i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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