we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
