Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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