i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
