I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
