We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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