Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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