I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
