i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
