know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
