I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
