I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Can you bring me the toilet please
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize