Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
id be glad to
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it's like iHOP with fire
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
