Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can feel your judgement through the phone
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
