make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found your dick twin last night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
