I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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