It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
