That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
