You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
3 2 1 whiskey
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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