it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize