So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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