C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
