brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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