I seem to have left my pride at pride
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
