My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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