what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
