Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
