There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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