I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
