Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
