he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
