I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize