ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
