i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
