If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
