It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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