She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
