you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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