i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
