how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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