i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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