Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
