I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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