Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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