I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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