i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
