Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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