Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
