I'm passing your future prison.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
