Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
