I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
