Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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