I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
