You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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