is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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