I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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