I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
