Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize