Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
